I hope your February was filled with love Glossies! To end the month on a funny note though, I’ve been collecting dating horror stories from the GLOSSYBOX office (which I’ve kept anonymous to save from extreme embarrassment!) that will make you glad you’ve got caring friends to support you through the dating process, or a loving partner so you never have to date again. Ready? Here we go…
He Spent The Night Making Out With His Dog
I finally agreed to go on a date with a guy who I had repeatedly turned down (my previous relationship had only just ended). He was quite good-looking and I thought ‘no harm, no foul, right?’. I was particularly excited when he asked if he could bring his dog along. It was a sweet little beagle, so I quickly agreed.
He made me sit in the back, while his dog rode in the front seat.
I thought it was great idea, until he spent the whole night being licked in the face by this dog. Worst of all, when he drove me home, he put the dog in the front seat and made me sit on my own in the back! It goes without saying that there was no second date.
He Wasn’t Over His Ex
I had been talking to a guy on Tinder and we hit it off quite well, so we agreed to meet up. When he showed up though, he’d clearly lied on his profile. He was so small I could have used him to do deadlifts. That night, he mixed all his drinks and got quite drunk. He then admitted that it had only been three weeks since his long-term relationship had ended. He then spent the rest of our date mumbling about his ex.
He was so small, I could have deadlifted him.
About a month later, he sent me a really awkward text saying he was over that relationship and was now free to ‘give me his heart’. Thanks but no thanks.
He Came On Way Too Strong
I went out to dinner with a guy I had met through mutual friends. He always seemed a little quiet and shy, which was something I found quite endearing. The date started off well. We spent the first hour or so chatting about basic things like our friends, jobs and general interests.
He told me we were going to have three kids. We’d met an hour earlier.
Then, all of a sudden, he started to open up about the mental illness and diabetes that run in his family. I’m all for sharing but this was a bit much! I kindly told him that it wasn’t necessary to run through his family’s history, but he insisted I should know everything. ‘I need you to know all this before we start having kids. I think we should have three’. That date didn’t last a second hour.
The Sh*ttiest Date Ever
I was on my third date with a guy when the night ended at his place. I spent the night, and before he left for work the next morning, he kissed me goodbye and promised to call later.
He never called again – and I don’t blame him.
I packed up my things ready to leave and then headed to the loo for a number two. The only problem was his flush wasn’t working! I tried desperately to wash it all away but nothing worked. In fact, I’m pretty sure I made the situation worse and clogged it. I ended up just closing the lid and rushing out of his apartment. I can’t imagine what he thought when he came home to that mess… Needless to say, he never called me again.
And on that note, bring on March! I’ll be announcing the story behind our March edit tomorrow and revealing your first sneak peek. Subscribe now to pre-order your box!